Aikidoka and the AI Hotties

My thoughts in the run up to International Women’s Day

Written by Cathy Okada

At Aikido of London the women have it good and I know it. Some of the junior members of the dojo are starting to realise it too, after attending external seminars and dojos recently. “I miss our dojo!”, a rattled and disappointed friend, still in her first few of years of training, told me over the phone whilst away at a seminar. I’m not saying that Aikido of London is an outlier and the only one like it anywhere, I’m sure it is not, though sometimes it can feel that way.

That’s not to say the dojo is a comfortable place. Maybe supportive is a better word. The training is hard, and we get pushed hard. In fact we are fortunate in that we have a teacher who pushes us and develops us to a level where he is confident enough (I think!!) to allow some of us who want to, to teach. We are soon going to be running our 2nd International Women’s Day Intensive on the 7th May with all classes taught by women. We are able to run an event like this for several reasons.

Despite his caliber (or maybe because of his caliber) Sensei has the humility and foresight to nurture and give space for a new generation of teachers, regardless of gender. That’s not the same as just handing it over entirely, thank goodness- lifelong experience and knowledge is vital for the Art- but just giving a little space, which is a lot actually.

The training culture of Aikido of London is constructive and nurturing for women and girls. The men don’t tell them “Softer, like a woman”, as a friend was told by a very senior member of a renowned Paris dojo the other week. They aren’t constantly corrected and explained to by men during training, even by those significantly junior to them (more first hand experiences, myself included). To those who say sexism isn’t an issue anymore, “not in Aikido- Aikido is different”, or “It has swung so far the other way that it is actually worse for men now”, sorry to say- not in my experience, or that of most others I’ve spoken with.

I would like to acknowledge, though, that so far, my experience as an instructor in my own dojo, Gyodokan, has been overwhelmingly positive. Our students, who admittedly are more men than women, treat me with the same respect as they do Ivan. That respect and attentiveness to my teaching doesn’t waiver when he is not there. I suppose those who have ever been uncomfortable with me teaching just don’t stay- nor do we invite them to.

It’s also important to recognise that the forces pushing women down don’t come solely from men alone. Healthy competition is a good thing, but I have exchanged stories with friends in Aikido and other disciplines about rivalry between women becoming unconstructive and negative. Unchecked bitterness or resentment towards other women who have climbed the ranks. Some who will more willingly take instruction from men rather than other women. It is easy to point fingers at men, but we can’t do so without also checking ourselves, and the truth is that women too can have their unconscious biases.

Anyhow, in the run up to International Women’s Day this year, I would like to take a moment to invite Dojo Cho to ask themselves whether they have women students they, hypothetically, could entrust a seminar or intensive to. Or just a class, perhaps. And if the answer is no, I then invite you to ask and answer honestly- why not?

Do I not want to give any of my own space up?

Do I not have any women students at the required level? If not, how come?

The answer might be entirely reasonable and valid. For example my own dojo, Gyodokan, is relatively new, and we don’t have anyone just yet at the level required to hold a room at a seminar. Of course we hope in the future we will.

This year, rather than posting some sort of weird, slightly kinky, AI-generated women on Instagram and saying “Happy International Women’s Day!”, perhaps instead (or as well as– if you are really attached to those AI hotties) take a minute to reflect: am I virtue signalling, or do I actually live the values when no one is watching?

After all, “What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.”~Ralph Waldo Emerson